Three months after James died.
The lease was up on the house before she’d realized she didn’t want to live there anymore. She might have agonized about that more, but before she started Seb had looked up at her one morning and asked if they had to stay there now that Daddy was gone.
Not that she’d known where they were going to go.
In the short term she’d decided on the lake resort. Or, more aptly, Moira had asked how long she wanted the new two room suite at the lake resort and if she’d be arriving the week after Seb was out of school, or did she have other plans for the beginning of his break?
“Our new gardener doesn’t quite know what to do with that boy and his endless curiosity,” Moira said warmly, walking into the library.
“Do I need to reel him in?” Thea asked, looking out the window to where her son was following the older man around the grounds, peppering him with questions.
“No, he’s occupied and John says he’s helpful, for all he prattles.” Moira sat down, and patted the chair next to her. “Sit with me for a bit.”
Thea dropped into the other chair, and stretched her wrists.
“How’s your Momma?”
Thea’s mother had suffered a stroke the month before everything with James, and she almost hadn’t been healthy enough to come to the funeral. “She’s as well as can be expected. Unhappy about having to go do more contrast tests, and not fond of her therapist.”
Moira nodded. “Do you want to tell me what’s on your mind?”
She blinked.
“I’ve known you since before that boy out there was born. I was at your wedding, and I was one of the first people you and Kay drug into this grand scheme of yours. Maybe I didn’t know what grief looked like on you, before, but I know what guilt looks like. What’re you feeling guilty for, dear?”
Thea rubbed her face and puffed out a breath. “James didn’t know everything, but what he did know he didn’t really like. And he’s…gone now. If I have to lit off and…fix something I have to leave Seb behind.”
“So you want to stop.”
“No.” Thea dropped her head and rubbed the back of her neck.
“But you think you should.”
“Maybe?”
Moira sat silently for a long moment, and Thea was about to come up with something to break and silence and then extricate herself from the situation because she hadn’t ever been very good at sharing with other people when she didn’t know what was going on in her head. And Kay was supposed to join them tomorrow, she’d only left them to go check in because they’d been going to the lake resort and she wouldn’t be alone.
“I can’t tell you what your husband would want you to do,” Moira said softly. “And I can’t tell you what we need you to do. I could, but I’m not going to because it doesn’t matter.”
Thea cocked a brow at her.
“And I don’t need to tell you what you need you to do, because you know. This is a strange life, and sometimes it’s so far past difficult it’s nearly insane.”
“But it’s mine and I’m good at it,” Thea finished.
“It’s just you and that boy now. What do you want to teach him about managing his future? That the dead have more call over us than our own happiness? Cause that seems like a dangerous lesson for a little boy who’s going to grow up without his father.” She smiled sadly. “You’re caught in the undertow right now, I imagine. I’d say try not to make decisions until you come back up.”
Come back tomorrow for V:Velocity!
The lease was up on the house before she’d realized she didn’t want to live there anymore. She might have agonized about that more, but before she started Seb had looked up at her one morning and asked if they had to stay there now that Daddy was gone.
Not that she’d known where they were going to go.
In the short term she’d decided on the lake resort. Or, more aptly, Moira had asked how long she wanted the new two room suite at the lake resort and if she’d be arriving the week after Seb was out of school, or did she have other plans for the beginning of his break?
“Our new gardener doesn’t quite know what to do with that boy and his endless curiosity,” Moira said warmly, walking into the library.
“Do I need to reel him in?” Thea asked, looking out the window to where her son was following the older man around the grounds, peppering him with questions.
“No, he’s occupied and John says he’s helpful, for all he prattles.” Moira sat down, and patted the chair next to her. “Sit with me for a bit.”
Thea dropped into the other chair, and stretched her wrists.
“How’s your Momma?”
Thea’s mother had suffered a stroke the month before everything with James, and she almost hadn’t been healthy enough to come to the funeral. “She’s as well as can be expected. Unhappy about having to go do more contrast tests, and not fond of her therapist.”
Moira nodded. “Do you want to tell me what’s on your mind?”
She blinked.
“I’ve known you since before that boy out there was born. I was at your wedding, and I was one of the first people you and Kay drug into this grand scheme of yours. Maybe I didn’t know what grief looked like on you, before, but I know what guilt looks like. What’re you feeling guilty for, dear?”
Thea rubbed her face and puffed out a breath. “James didn’t know everything, but what he did know he didn’t really like. And he’s…gone now. If I have to lit off and…fix something I have to leave Seb behind.”
“So you want to stop.”
“No.” Thea dropped her head and rubbed the back of her neck.
“But you think you should.”
“Maybe?”
Moira sat silently for a long moment, and Thea was about to come up with something to break and silence and then extricate herself from the situation because she hadn’t ever been very good at sharing with other people when she didn’t know what was going on in her head. And Kay was supposed to join them tomorrow, she’d only left them to go check in because they’d been going to the lake resort and she wouldn’t be alone.
“I can’t tell you what your husband would want you to do,” Moira said softly. “And I can’t tell you what we need you to do. I could, but I’m not going to because it doesn’t matter.”
Thea cocked a brow at her.
“And I don’t need to tell you what you need you to do, because you know. This is a strange life, and sometimes it’s so far past difficult it’s nearly insane.”
“But it’s mine and I’m good at it,” Thea finished.
“It’s just you and that boy now. What do you want to teach him about managing his future? That the dead have more call over us than our own happiness? Cause that seems like a dangerous lesson for a little boy who’s going to grow up without his father.” She smiled sadly. “You’re caught in the undertow right now, I imagine. I’d say try not to make decisions until you come back up.”
Come back tomorrow for V:Velocity!
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