Reason: Pre-scheduled wellness check.
Parties: Agent 1473609-2, listed contact Mrs. Dorothea De Luca—further referenced as Subject Alpha.
Duration of Contact: 00:05:47:15
Date of Contact: -----redacted-----
Location of Agent: -----redacted-----
Agent 1473609-2: “Do you ever regret it?”
Subject Alpha: “Regret what?”
Agent 1473609-2: “Me. Us, being friends I mean. Your life is a lot more complicated than it would have been without me.”
----Five seconds of dead air------
Subject Alpha: “What brought this on?”
Agent 1473609-2: “Don’t dodge the question.”
Subject Alpha: “I’m not trying to dodge the question, where it’s come from can have a big impact on the answer. Why would you think I’d regret us being friends?”
Agent 1473609-2: “Because everything is complicated. Because there’s probably someone in a tiny cement room furiously scribbling everything we say right now onto some sort of record. Because you can’t…you can’t just be Dottie.”
Subject Alpha: *sigh* “Okay, well, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t hate me forever if I walked away so I could just be Dottie. Not that I’m even sure what that means anymore. Which part am I supposed to regret? The part where you’ve been the best friend I’ve ever had for years? The part where your crazy ideas mean I’m not struggling to keep a roof over my head, or my kid’s? The part where I didn’t wind up in giant debt trying to cover three funerals in less than two years? Never mind all of Dad’s end of life care, and Mom’s hospital bills, and…”
Agent 1473609-2: “So as long as the money’s good, we’re fine.”
Subject Alpha: “Don’t be a shit. You know we’d be fine anyway. That’s why I was asking where it came from. Because you said that like it was about the job and how it seems to have swallowed my life. It wasn’t that, was it?”
---------Five seconds of dead air--------
Agent 1473609-2: “I should probably go.”
Subject Alpha: “It hasn’t beeped yet. Now it’s you dodging the question. What makes you think I’d regret us being friends?”
Agent 1473609-2: “Because people like me aren’t supposed to be able to make friends. Because you said we were friends because you were stuck with me for that lab and I twisted that into way more than you meant it as.”
Subject Alpha: “What do you mean people like you?”
Agent 1473609-2: “That’s what you want to know?”
Subject Alpha: “Yes, because the rest of that is…backstory. I decided to be here just as much as you did. What do you mean people like you?”
Agent 1473609-2: “People who do…this. People who know how to not be people.”
Subject Alpha: “Yeah well, some days I feel a little like that’s me, too. You already said you wanted out, but if this is you having second thoughts about that, you’re allowed.”
----------Eight seconds of dead air---------
Agent 1473609-2: “It’s more wondering if I’ve left it too late. The becoming a real person part, I mean. I don’t think I can say becoming a real person again. I mean I did sort of carry you around to prove I wasn’t a sociopath.”
Subject Alpha: “It only worked because it’s true. And the strange girl in college was a real person, even if she wasn’t like anybody else. And you’re a real person now, whatever else you are.”
Agent 1473609-2: “What about you then?”
Subject Alpha: “I’m over thirty and…lost. I’m sure I’m not the first one. But…don’t make your decision about quitting about me. Do what you need to do for Kay. You know I’ll be here whatever you do.”
Agent 1473609-2: “You don’t want me to come find you?”
Subject Alpha: “I don’t think you can do this one for me. I heard the beep, do you need to go?”
Agent 1473609-2: “Yeah, I do. I miss being able to tell Moira I was worried about you, you know? I didn’t think I’d miss that.”
Subject Alpha: “Give the new girl a bit, I’m sure she’ll be all over that. Take care of yourself.”
Agent 1473609-2: “You too.”
Transcript Terminated. Filed for deletion. No actionable or valuable information.
Come back tomorrow for S:Seascapes